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    死亡這個話題

    2019-06-26 20:18:30 作者:溫嵐 隨筆 1500字 優秀作文大全

    中國地震臺網正式測定:06月17日22時55分在四川宜賓市長寧縣(北緯28.34度,東經104.90度)發生6.0級地震,震源深度16千米。

    四川離地震帶不遠,處于印度洋板塊和亞洲板塊的沖撞區,這是四川高發地震的原因。

    今晚的地震毫無征兆,幾個小時前在網上就突然炸開了鍋,更有甚者開出“地震了嗎,別慌,只是我剛才摔倒了而已,明天我就減肥”等娛樂性質的玩笑,更能在大大小小的群聊中看到有人上傳的裸男在街頭狂奔的視頻,惹來一陣哄笑。

    不論處于何種迎合大眾逗樂大眾的心態,其將地震一事弄得像是一場鬧劇,抱著反正又不在我家這邊的心態,開著恬不知恥的玩笑,從而達到吸引更多的注意的目的。其性質,徹頭徹尾的惡劣。

    講其究,為什么現在人對死亡的模式反而是成長的體現,并非兩三天的感慨。

    就像小時候我們不知道死亡,它好像離我們很遠很遠,身邊親密之人都是年輕力壯,好似無所不能,能一直為我們撐起一片天。那時的我們無憂無慮,對這個詞沒有概念,頭腦中沒有它的一寸之地,它是個什么玩意兒?不清楚。

    漸漸的我們開始長大,聽到周圍人說著一個在自己眼中陌生很遙遠的誰誰不在了,也不禁在想這個不在是什么意思?有些想要探究想要為這個詞找到找到些定義想要畫清它那模糊的輪廓。

    再后來看到離自己有些近的人,真的就像曾人們所言那一句淺淺的不在了,又開始感到有些疑惑,它到底是個什么意思?

    直到真的看到那個人們口中死亡之人,躺在那一塊小小的方窄中,面色發青縮成小小的一團,與周圍喧嘩的人潮形成了強烈對比。他安靜他無助,當人們面帶悲痛,經過他身旁他毫無感覺,最后當他離開人們視線那一張張悲痛臉換上了另一色容時,棺蓋,塵埃落定,他就像破碎布樣隨意被人丟棄在角落,直至被遺忘....

    那一刻的我好像被什么襲中了心臟,我被恐懼包圍了,我害怕,最終就這樣它留在了我的記憶深處,牢牢扎根,不時控制不住的跳出來讓我去思考與年齡不符的事一一如果那些為我撐起一片天的人不在了我孤零零的一個人怎么辦?如果未來我也是這樣離去,人們輕易把我忘記了怎么辦?每每想到這我就感到絕望、害怕、恐懼、不知所措,只有用懦弱的無聲哭泣來發泄這種情緒。這種情緒伴隨了我童年的每個夜晚,無力改變事物所帶來的焦慮,讓我不斷的失眠失眠熬夜熬夜.. ..

    這種揮之不去的恐懼感就像個怪物樣一直黏著我,直到我發現了一個能轉移注意力讓自己的大腦不能空下來的事物——看小說。一個人的時候一直看一直看,不能讓大腦空下來,不能停下來,直到累的精疲力盡沒法思考,才能伴著噩夢淺淺睡去。但偶爾還是會越看越清醒,家里四個人,燈一關一安靜,又好似只剩我一個人在那孤立無援的黑暗中不斷的摸索,不斷的想要尋找。

    漸漸夜晚不再想象著死亡這個話題所帶給我那些無法承受的東西,是復讀期間,那時候手機基本上也沒有用,每天就只想著考高分考高分,漸漸了也開始忘記了童年的夜晚怪物。

    晚上9點過下課,早上6點過起床,思想只在為著未來而煩惱,訓練、上課 ,身體與精神的疲勞,使自己無法再去思考其他。那時身邊一位很親的人的離去都沒有帶給我特別強烈的觸動,也許也是知道他病了很久了,離去只是時間問題。

    死亡這個話題帶給我的強烈觸動突然又出現了,那些很熟悉的人,又開始毫無預兆的離去。

    還記得那天我和我朋友在外面打游戲,突然家里人給我打電話說我父親的一個朋友去參加一個婚禮,喝醉了摔死了,然后..當時我真的有些懵了,我還很震驚的問了我媽媽怎么突然一個好好的人就不見了呢?那人我雖然也經常看不到,但總會知道他在遠方活著,而這一次是真正的看不到了,那種感覺很奇妙,你知道他是真正的離去,而不是那種傳統意義上從你身邊的離開。

    隨著年齡的增長,也見到了不同形式的“離開”,也開始慢慢接受了不同人從我身邊,敲鑼打鼓的到來,最終悄無聲息的離去。

    當他們真正的離去時我更多想著的是他們只是從我身邊離去了,在另一個我不知道的地方活著他們接下來的生活。

    現在我對于死亡也沒有那個恐懼了,也漸漸釋然了,人終有一死,希望及時行樂。我們赤裸裸的來,最終也將赤裸裸的離去,帶走了些什么?大概也就只是那些接觸過的人們對于我們的一些記憶以及我們在成長的每個階段自己的一些情感感悟,最終我還希望我能帶著我整個人生經歷去到另個世界快樂的“活著”,那樣我就正真的不會懼怕”死亡”這詞。一點點光,哪怕繞過了多少彎,最終還是會觸摸到那不斷讓我想要逃避的可怕怪物。

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